I suppose every user sees a different story in this game. Some see a lonely character, some see an achiever, some just see a piece of shit that managed to pass, and are wondering how this piece has actually gotten a solid 3.30.

Those that just see a piece of shit apparently have never experienced true loneliness.

I see here a lonely character who has 54 goals that he'd like to achieve. He has no one to help him or guide him in any way, and so, in the end, he achieves 53 - a great feat in and of itself (I was unable to get one of the triangles) - but the goal he wanted to achieve most is left sitting, untouched.

Although you're 13, and not experienced in Flash, you still managed to make my eyes well up, if only for a moment, and you're correct in saying that this is a highly emotional journey, rather than a cut-and-dried story.

When I was five years old, I asked my father the reasoning behind something I found quite pressing: If a car starts off of a battery, then why does the battery not drain when you drive? He explained the concept of an alternator to me, and while I was impressed by the current system, I proceeded to explain a way that the engine could be vastly improved to increase efficiency, without having any new pieces, and without having an alternator.

In that way, it's good that you're 13 and inexperienced. You think differently from other flash artists - you've no boundaries to follow, because you don't know the "rules", and thus cannot violate what you don't know.

I liked this game. I don't think it's series-worthy, but from seeing this, I'm interested in what you'll do next with it.

Gameplay: 17/20 - jumping was stiff, though in a way I could suppose that as good. I'd still prefer a less stiff jumping mechanic.

Story: N/A

Music: 19/20

Graphics: 8/10 - It had style, even if it had little polish.

Overall: A solid eight.

Keep it up.

Having worked in restaurants in NC for a while now, I gotta say, Lashkor, you're wrong.

Most southern restaurants (yes, I travel, so I can say this) allow workers to smoke. Mine does. That's just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

Let's stop arguing like bitches and appreciate the genius in the Flash.

I played this up until the effect "Wall" (and the one just past it that I couldn't get to but twice).

I simply couldn't bring myself to finish it.

It's too long and frustrating, and a great suggestion would be to keep the particles the come off of the cursor, but NEUTRALIZE THEM. It's EXTREMELY frustrating when I'm getting penalized for circles that are across the field that got hit by my "particles".

BASS: It's not a traditional walking bass line, and for most of the song, that's alright. But the problem is that since you aren't using a real bassist (or it doesn't sound like you are), it just repeats on and on and on. Your bass line earns a 6/10 for being unique, but would've gotten higher if it didn't repeat.

DRUMS: Again, a synth instrument on a loop. Since it isn't a standard jazz beat, that earns points, but since it never switches, it sticks out like a sore thumb AND doesn't change at all. Oh, wait, at 01:20, the drums cut out. YES, CHANGE. Sixteen seconds later, they're back in, unchanging as ever. 5/10, higher if it would've not repeated for the length of the track.

HORNS: This where you get your big downfall. The initial sax entrance is great. Then, forty-five seconds later, it repeats. Also, at 00:16, the backup horns come in nicely, with 1 + 2 +a3 +a4e. Guess what I get to hear for the next ninety seconds, forever unchanging? Yep. 1 + 2 +a3 +a4e. At 01:04, the tenor sax comes in. THANK YOU, WINDS OF CHANGE! Oh. Wait. It's just repeating itself.

What's this Alto garbage at 01:42? It comes in on an offbeat, and plays a lick three times over that really shouldn't be played, ever. Then a horridly high note, and a soothing jazz scale down. OH GOD, PLEASE, NOT A REPEAT!!! ....fuck.

At 02:16, thank god, a somewhat good sax sound. And not a repeat, nice, though you already used it.

At 02:40, finally, a really good idea that I've been waiting for for 160 seconds. Why'd you make me wait for layering? Also, please don't repeat that.... damn it.

Finally, the fade out. Good, time to give my ears a rest.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Basically, what you did here is make a vamp. Now, ideally, if you were playing all of these instruments and tracking separately (which would be quite sweet), you would lay your drums down, and then you'd spend a time making a bass line that didn't suck. Did your initial bass line suck? Hell no, it wasn't half bad, but the repetition killed it. You gotta make sme variety happen. On everything. On horns, my god, the Alto solo was HORRID at 01:42. You need to focus on rhythm in a vamp, sure, but notes wouldn't hurt either.

Is this a bad track?

It isn't the worst.

But you've got some studying to do, I'd imagine.

Keep at it, though. Even if this is all synth, you could've made this better and more interesting.

However, not the best... sorry...

Can't even play in time.